28 August 2009

An Actress

She moved up to the staircase one step after another unfolding the lost episodes of her life. Probably everything around her would have been merry if she could have stepped on those specific stairs and got back the miraculous life. But that wasn't the situation she was just pulling off some unwanted steps of her life. Some of them being the most heinous one's so grave and fatal they managed to shatter and hurt her spirit. Her life was always glorious with beautiful people around her, and this was something that was apparent.

Inside her she was still sacred of her steps ad pulling off life. Day on day she got more and more restless of her motive less life. She got herself engrossed in the motion picture life where the film reel would run much faster than the colossal picture of sadness which appeared before her. But she knew she had over come on day the mental block she possessed manicured it for a very long time to breed sky length discomfort and unhappiness for her. As an actress she was bold and out going, she did all the justice to her job and may be that was the tipping point for her survival.

When alone in her plush apartment in Oceanic glance on the 22nd floor, she would penetrate right through the sea, and kept staring at the sea as if on a voyage to reach some place across the oceans where she can restart and restructure her life based on the hard hitting experience life has fabricated upon her. The she was dragged back to reality when she would regain conscious as fast as flash of light and as a rubber band. She would mostly indulge in reading love stories and their happy endings would make unhappy, and leave her with an unattainable desire of a faultless collaborator, on whom she would rely and base her life.

She was back home from the premier and confidently threw herself on the couch one more to the list she said to herself, filling up the elegant glass of wine. A red wine she loved it, the color was that of love. According to her if a fine heart is preserved and crushed it would look like a red wine. She firmly believed it was her heart that was crushed in the glass of wine. She carefully took a sip as if feeling her heart pass through the lips reaching deep in her touching every part of her body and putting it on blaze. It was her heart that made the difference than the price of the wine. She glazed at the wall of achievements all awards she had received till date. Scanning each one of them she felt nothing, she cluelessly watched them as a child does in the initial phases of his life. As if they mend nothing for her.

It was one such sudden incidence that brought her to levels the levels that made her feel really low. She never pondered over the incidence that had happened to her. She went so low with it that it was taking her such long to get over the monstrous phase of her life. Sometimes in life you don't know why you are unhappy for you are just unhappy and the tempo of unhappiness is not know and cannot be measured. As being in the glamour profession she has ensured she mastered the skill of staying physically fit and gorgeous in appearance. At the end of the day she was best in this aspect of her life. The success was always on a friendlier note with her, she has casted a magic over him, he literally followed her to most in fact the entire place, except to
the places where her heart was attached to. Now success seems to be a manipulative and biased in nature. It always played barter with her giving her more success and depriving her from happiness.

To be continued………..

12 August 2009

Taste and realization

A thought keeps lingering in my mind, and often leaves me with a discomfort of not having had acquired the position and the pleasure or material things. As human I crave for them, and just as rightly said the desire is the cause. The desire to acquire and hold possession is so strong that I succumb to the drift and I am dragged to the horrifying experience. Every time I come across such thing I am encircled in this vicious circle of why I don’t have and when will I have it. Being content is like attaining nirvana in today’s life. When I know I can’t get an Omega for myself, which my boss has and I envy him, but I fail to recognize the fact and the immense amount of background efforts that might have gone behind it. Now that really puzzles me is, should I fight or I shouldn’t. I want it and i know to crave for it is wrong. So do I stop and feel happy with my Fast track. I think the idea is to wait and watch. Efforts should be seamless in any aspect of your life. There again I come to the most favorite topic the "relationship" while showcasing most of the emotions that I have portrayed on my blog (for which most of them are sad, according to my dear reader and I completely agree to them) I have realized the fact that the most I cry and crib for something extra-terrestrial to happen, it actually becomes extra-terrestrial. The sadness comes when there is no effort put in (in all aspects of life). Haven’t I put an effort, yes I have had but just some of the trees take a duration to yield a fruit and some are instant, maybe I am watering the wrong emotions and the yield is taking sometime. I think the cornflakes are getting a little salty; I need to stop putting that fluid to make it test better. I shall preserve this fluid for the destined area. "I shall not piss on good things or anything that comes to my life and even if I had did pissed already, I shall happily face it"

03 August 2009

One last time

It was completely a coherent decision which I have taken; no matter what my heart says I have decided to marry him. It’s was difficult for her to stand against the strong tide and drift towards Abhilash. It’s almost a year now since me and Abhilash has decided to part our ways. But today I can’t stop myself. May it be a moment of sin, or a memory of lifetime? I owe my life to you. I love you Abhilash, she said gently in his ears and he curled her in his arms just one last time.

02 August 2009

What a lovely end...

what an end to the weekend, I am siting here with my dad with a mug of a beer in our hands and discussing the future. I really like this moment, the moment of peace, the scare free moment. His advices of effectively resolving problems in the most difficult situations, inspire me and i get the needed josh. He is always inspiring and standing tall behind me, when i need the required support. As always i call him Daddu Tum. Thanks Daddu please be there, i need you in this time and forever in my life. I think I am getting too emotional. All being said i am really happy for being attached with my family in such a way. Well that gives me an idea of writing about the people who are of utmost importance in my life. My friends, my parents, my guides. More than that i am happy that the evening is ending in such a way. All set to face the monstrous Monday.